What would help me as a working mom is fair treatment from politicians and the media. I enjoy my life, and wouldn’t have it any other way, but it would be way cool not to have quite so many people thinking that I am doing something wrong and looking down their noses at me. (1) Quit it with the “it’s better if young children are home with one parent.” Pfui. Americans like the idea better, that’s all. Show me some legitimate research that shows this (there isn’t any). Really, both ways are fine. Kids like daycare and thrive there. Kids like to be at home and thrive there, too.
(2) Quit comparing childcare jobs with some impossible ideal of stay-at-home parenthood. I represent women getting restraining orders, and I’ve seen plenty of stay at home parents who have had their parental rights terminated. I’m *not* saying this is typical: it isn’t. But neither is the perfect mom (the image *is* a mom, not a dad) who takes her children out for interesting educational field trips every day, never loses her temper, never sticks her kids in front of the TV so she can get something done, gives her children only educational toys and nutritional food. Compare daycare to the *average* stay at home parent, not what you’d like to believe she is like.
(3) Quit it with the “some women *have* to work.” It is fine to work, even if you wouldn’t starve otherwise. (4) Bring some coherence to the treatment of poor women and middle class women. Poor women are supposed to “get off their butts and work”. Middle class women are supposed to quit their jobs and stay home, even if they’d much rather not. (5) Quit it with the working moms versus stay at home moms attitude. I know that U.S. likes to view everything as a big fight (preferably akin to pro wrestling), but this shouldn’t be a fight. We are all moms who love their kids, and we should be on the same side.
The Family Income Report provides color pictures showing trends of real median family incomes to increase awareness. Incomes have hardly improved past 2 1/2 decades, especially compared to the rate of improvement for prior generations – - especially for families with children – - while their tax rates for homes, FICA, etc. are much higher than prior generations. It is understandable such places economic stress on many families, forcing more mothers to seek work outside the home than might otherwise be the case – - and getting others to help pay day care cost is of interest to them.
I am preparing myself for the shock of childcare jobs costs, but haven’t a specific number yet. Since it is very early for me to be calling places, I was hoping for some input from others in the group who are closer to using daycare, or who have other children in daycare. I’m hearing $175 a week in Mass for commercial day care centers; $150 for at home moms who can take in up to 6 children in their homes (Mass laws allow for 6 in a home, up to 2 who are children of the provider). Are these numbers in the ballpark? If so, I’m thinking au pair, which I HAVE researched, and that is between $190-205 a week. I think it will be worth the extra money (if it is indeed extra per week – obviously the extra household costs are not included in this figure).
Price does not equal better care. Just because the price is higher does not mean the care is better. Nor can you depend on the appearance of the facility. Of course you want a clean and safe facility but the most important factor is the care giver. You can’t judge a care giver on a short question and answer visit. Nor can you depend on government worker to screen care providers for you. After you narrow your list down you need to take time to drop in at busy hours and observe. Don’t take your child to a facility that won’t allow these parents should always be welcome. Also don’t expect parents using a facility to look at it with a critical eye. Lastly talk about cost. There are many way to reduce cost. If you have a flexible job sometimes you can do some work in trade? Your husband or you might trade some yard or house work to reduce cost. Sometime you can watch the care givers children at nights and weekends in trade.
If preschool is a necessity in getting a child ready for kindergarten? As someone who sent her kids to preschool really early, and believes firmly that a good preschool is a Good Thing…no, they are *not* necessary. If you are teaching her stuff already, and you have play arrangements for her to meet other kids frequently (preferably the same kids so that friendships develop), she’ll be as well off as her preschooler peers. About the only thing she would have no experience of is a class-room setting and taking directions from non-Mom; but then if you enroll her in just about any class or group activity, you can. There are also many childcare jobs available.
The time to tell you that your child may not go on a field trip because he misbehaved on the last one is immediately after the last one. It is absolutely inexcusable for them to tell you on the day of the trip, unless it is based on his behavior that day. I’m afraid I don’t have any suggestions s to what you can do about it; I think I’d probably tell him that I thought they were being unfair (unless you think this would cause worse problems in his behavior at school), and take him by himself or with a friend to the place they were going on the field trip.
Since the investment in good child care pays big dividends in reduced costs for prisons and greater income to municipalities, school boards, states and the federal government. All levels should contribute to the cost; it is in everyone’s best interest, Guillermo. At the same time, I fear relying too much on government for social services. Through our own negligence–or worse–we have allowed the government(s) to replace charity with welfare, and I’m not convinced that government is doing a very good job of it. In fact, quite the contrary: government services are much more effective at buying the votes of recipients, government employees, and kind-hearted people than they are at actually helping the needy. But the principle of subsidiary–that large, impersonal organizations should not do the childcare jobs that smaller, more human agencies can do better–carries a lot of weight.
Childcare workers, school bus drivers, teachers and ministers of religion will be screened for child sex convictions under new laws to come into effect next month. All people working with children including scout leaders, private tutors and sports coaches who have direct access to children will have to make a legal declaration that they have no child-related convictions.
Your life is about to change…. In my opinion, allowances should be tied to jobs which will be her responsibility to complete (to your satisfaction). Not everyone agrees with jobs=money; some feel kids should get an allowance just because they’re part of the family…they should do chores for the same reason. I found, with my children, that money is a big motivator and also a consequence. No jobs - no money. Isn’t that the way the world works?
