There is a downside to practically everything. So if a mother shops her kids off to daycare and does not realize this, she is just not facing reality. I see them racing by me in the morning with their kids all bundled up in their child seats, and I say “I don’t want to go to work, I KNOW that they really don’t.” It’s got to be pure hell parting with those kids every morning, especially to the conditions which you describe. [I am sure there are notable exceptions, of course, but these do not disprove the general rule.]
And people who do not want to be parents such as you described in part of your post ought not to do so. People who do want to be parents ought to insist on changes in the community and society that will optimize the parenting. The problem is not just that family who cannot afford what you might consider *Quality* childcare jobs is having to put their children in non-quality… (Is this also *cheap* daycare?)….gee whiz….the point is that DAYCARE is not a quality concept. We tell ourselves it is so we can justify that we are doing it.
For single parents…we have a difficult issue here…one that includes considering that it is cost effective to support mothers to be home and stop criticizing them as “on welfare”. We do not live in an enlightened society…anyone who thinks we are ….needs to contact you off list!! (You are a psychiatrist and they need help with reality orientation) The real economic issue is that we are a consumer society and the only real purpose we have is to have consumers and we think we have to have everyone going home with a paycheck so they can go spend it on stuff they will throw away or didn’t need anyhow!!! I love to shop and spend money and buy stuff. I love my children and grandchildren MORE. Change the priority. Re-engineer the marketplace and send a parent home!!!